April 27th, 2011
So today is the day we go home. Yes, I am handed a brand new baby an sent on my way. Doesn't anyone know I have no idea what to do? Is there a transition area I can go to? Like PT for parents? Or can someone come home with me? Just to help our for a couple of days? Or years?
It seems irresponsible to simple hand me, a complete novice at parenting, a defenseless newborn. Plus, I didn't know he would be so small. Can we wait until he gets bigger? My milk hasn't come in either. How do I feed my baby when I have no milk? We have been giving him formula in the hospital. I just continue that? I also haven't been able to get him to latch. How am I supposed to breastfeed? Oh, and bathing. Haven't done that either.
How do I learn how to be a mother when he doesn't sleep more then 90 minutes and I am exhausted? People need to think this through a bit better.
8/30/2011
8/28/2011
C-Section Recovery
April 26th, 2011
I am a mother. Can't believe it. My baby is so tiny, so small, so breakable. I am mostly happy, but in a little bit of pain from surgery. I had a planned c-section. I know, a lot of people were confused with out decision. Why have a planned c-section?
You are a woman and you won't feel like a mother unless you give birth. (loved that one)
Are you aware of how dangerous a c-section is?
You are just a wimp and can't handle labor.
Okay people, first - back off! Second, my husband and I are in the medical field. We both feel strongly about the benefits of a planned c-section. We felt it was best for our baby. Granted, it is major abdominal surgery; but most of the complications fall on my shoulders, not my baby's. A vaginal birth is extremely traumatic for newborns. There are numerous problems that can occur. With a planned c-section we felt we had the best control over a smooth birthing process for our child. Notice that I keep on saying planned c-section. Those c-sections that are emergent and occur after hours of labor are completely different. Much tougher. More dangerous. My own OBGYN had a planned c-section herself and was very supportive of our decision.
That said, it is a personal decision. Whatever the parents want to do is up to them and their doctor. Although I will say I do NOT understand "natural" childbirth. No drugs. There is no reason to be in pain while you labor. Which brings me to my point. I am in PAIN. I decided not to take anything for pain except Tylenol and Motrin; truth be told I was scared of getting constipated if I took narcotics. Stupid. I am now laying in my hospital bed with my brand new boy next to me and I can hardly move. The nurse is getting some Vicodin as we speak; my husband came in after working all day and found me in pain so he told me to simply take some stronger medications. I didn't argue. My lesson; take pain meds if you are in pain. Simple lesson. I think I was just stubborn, but don't tell my husband I admitted to that.
I am a mother. Can't believe it. My baby is so tiny, so small, so breakable. I am mostly happy, but in a little bit of pain from surgery. I had a planned c-section. I know, a lot of people were confused with out decision. Why have a planned c-section?
You are a woman and you won't feel like a mother unless you give birth. (loved that one)
Are you aware of how dangerous a c-section is?
You are just a wimp and can't handle labor.
Okay people, first - back off! Second, my husband and I are in the medical field. We both feel strongly about the benefits of a planned c-section. We felt it was best for our baby. Granted, it is major abdominal surgery; but most of the complications fall on my shoulders, not my baby's. A vaginal birth is extremely traumatic for newborns. There are numerous problems that can occur. With a planned c-section we felt we had the best control over a smooth birthing process for our child. Notice that I keep on saying planned c-section. Those c-sections that are emergent and occur after hours of labor are completely different. Much tougher. More dangerous. My own OBGYN had a planned c-section herself and was very supportive of our decision.
That said, it is a personal decision. Whatever the parents want to do is up to them and their doctor. Although I will say I do NOT understand "natural" childbirth. No drugs. There is no reason to be in pain while you labor. Which brings me to my point. I am in PAIN. I decided not to take anything for pain except Tylenol and Motrin; truth be told I was scared of getting constipated if I took narcotics. Stupid. I am now laying in my hospital bed with my brand new boy next to me and I can hardly move. The nurse is getting some Vicodin as we speak; my husband came in after working all day and found me in pain so he told me to simply take some stronger medications. I didn't argue. My lesson; take pain meds if you are in pain. Simple lesson. I think I was just stubborn, but don't tell my husband I admitted to that.
8/26/2011
The Final Days Before Parenthood
April 22nd, 2011
I am due for a C-section on the 24th, just two days away! I think I am feeling every possible emotion. I am so excited to meet him, he has been moving around quite a bit. But I have no idea what to expect.
Will I be a good mother?
Can I handle the lack of sleep?
Will I be able to breast feed?
I really want to do a good job, but it is all new to me. I am scared of not being good enough. I am also scared of never getting my body back! My belly is HUGE. I have cellulite all the way down my legs. I weigh almost as much as my husband, who is 6 feet tall. I have gained forty pounds throughout this pregnancy. Forty. Apparently, the recommended weight gain for an average woman is between 25-35 pounds. Yeah, who the heck "recommended" that? They can bite me. I walk everyday, but admittedly eat whatever I feel like. Hopefully I'll lose the weight quickly. But that isn't my main focus at the moment. The whole baby thing is pretty much center stage.
My boy's room is ready for him. My husband put in an air conditioning unit last week which is a huge bonus. It gets pretty hot in this apartment. We have blue and brown colors for the nursery; same colors as our wedding. Mom and dad gave us a crib and matching dressor made from a beautiful dark wood from Bellini. Love it. My mom also made him a gorgeous hanging quilt with an ocean theme and a pretty cool needlepoint of sea life. We have one of those Boppy pillows that everyone told me to get. Looks kinda funky, but it supposed to help with breastfeeding. Anything that would help with that I am game for. I am still unsure about the whole process. I really want to breastfeed and I am looking forward to it; but it seems so foreign to me at the moment. A place of sustenance is the last thing my breasts have been previously.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everything goes well. No way out now!
I am due for a C-section on the 24th, just two days away! I think I am feeling every possible emotion. I am so excited to meet him, he has been moving around quite a bit. But I have no idea what to expect.
Will I be a good mother?
Can I handle the lack of sleep?
Will I be able to breast feed?
I really want to do a good job, but it is all new to me. I am scared of not being good enough. I am also scared of never getting my body back! My belly is HUGE. I have cellulite all the way down my legs. I weigh almost as much as my husband, who is 6 feet tall. I have gained forty pounds throughout this pregnancy. Forty. Apparently, the recommended weight gain for an average woman is between 25-35 pounds. Yeah, who the heck "recommended" that? They can bite me. I walk everyday, but admittedly eat whatever I feel like. Hopefully I'll lose the weight quickly. But that isn't my main focus at the moment. The whole baby thing is pretty much center stage.
My boy's room is ready for him. My husband put in an air conditioning unit last week which is a huge bonus. It gets pretty hot in this apartment. We have blue and brown colors for the nursery; same colors as our wedding. Mom and dad gave us a crib and matching dressor made from a beautiful dark wood from Bellini. Love it. My mom also made him a gorgeous hanging quilt with an ocean theme and a pretty cool needlepoint of sea life. We have one of those Boppy pillows that everyone told me to get. Looks kinda funky, but it supposed to help with breastfeeding. Anything that would help with that I am game for. I am still unsure about the whole process. I really want to breastfeed and I am looking forward to it; but it seems so foreign to me at the moment. A place of sustenance is the last thing my breasts have been previously.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everything goes well. No way out now!
8/24/2011
Pregnancy!
March 14th, 2011
Okay, so I have about a month left; and I am done! I feel like an ugly, fat whale. Nobody tells you about the unique oddities of pregnancy. The horrible yet unavoidable gas. I actually gross myself out with my wet dog rolled in cow feces smelling gas. The hairs that grow EVERYWHERE! Yes, everywhere. Ears. Nose. Breasts. Ankles. Don't ask me why. The crazy mood swings that I am surprised don't lead to divorce. My husband has more patience then I thought possible. Of course, I am carrying his freakin kid. He better be good! (for example)
Now to be fair, feeling my baby move inside me is pretty amazing. I don't have the proper words to describe the immense joy and contentment felt in those tiny movements. Pregnancy is a conundrum. A time of joy and happiness coupled with being unbelievably uncomfortable and hormonal. Although the huge breasts are a great perk!
Okay, so I have about a month left; and I am done! I feel like an ugly, fat whale. Nobody tells you about the unique oddities of pregnancy. The horrible yet unavoidable gas. I actually gross myself out with my wet dog rolled in cow feces smelling gas. The hairs that grow EVERYWHERE! Yes, everywhere. Ears. Nose. Breasts. Ankles. Don't ask me why. The crazy mood swings that I am surprised don't lead to divorce. My husband has more patience then I thought possible. Of course, I am carrying his freakin kid. He better be good! (for example)
Now to be fair, feeling my baby move inside me is pretty amazing. I don't have the proper words to describe the immense joy and contentment felt in those tiny movements. Pregnancy is a conundrum. A time of joy and happiness coupled with being unbelievably uncomfortable and hormonal. Although the huge breasts are a great perk!
Prenatal
October 2nd, 2010
Today was our first prenatal appointment. I am nine weeks along so we were able to see the heartbeat on the ultrasound. One word-surreal. Is that tiny blip on the screen our baby? Is it healthy? Is it a boy or a girl? Are we going to be good parents? What makes a great mother?
All I have are questions. No answers.
Of course, I feel pretty lucky. We were able to get pregnant fairly easily and quickly (which my husband takes full credit for). I am healthy and feeling great, except for the unusual on slot of massive hormones. My hubby has been really sweet, when he is home. The poor guy works all hours. My parents are elated with the reality of becoming grandparents. They are wonderfully supportive and a vast amount of obvious information and education; they have been through this before after all.
I guess it all became real today. Official. I am going to be a mother in a few short months.
Today was our first prenatal appointment. I am nine weeks along so we were able to see the heartbeat on the ultrasound. One word-surreal. Is that tiny blip on the screen our baby? Is it healthy? Is it a boy or a girl? Are we going to be good parents? What makes a great mother?
All I have are questions. No answers.
Of course, I feel pretty lucky. We were able to get pregnant fairly easily and quickly (which my husband takes full credit for). I am healthy and feeling great, except for the unusual on slot of massive hormones. My hubby has been really sweet, when he is home. The poor guy works all hours. My parents are elated with the reality of becoming grandparents. They are wonderfully supportive and a vast amount of obvious information and education; they have been through this before after all.
I guess it all became real today. Official. I am going to be a mother in a few short months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)