April 22nd, 2011
I am due for a C-section on the 24th, just two days away! I think I am feeling every possible emotion. I am so excited to meet him, he has been moving around quite a bit. But I have no idea what to expect.
Will I be a good mother?
Can I handle the lack of sleep?
Will I be able to breast feed?
I really want to do a good job, but it is all new to me. I am scared of not being good enough. I am also scared of never getting my body back! My belly is HUGE. I have cellulite all the way down my legs. I weigh almost as much as my husband, who is 6 feet tall. I have gained forty pounds throughout this pregnancy. Forty. Apparently, the recommended weight gain for an average woman is between 25-35 pounds. Yeah, who the heck "recommended" that? They can bite me. I walk everyday, but admittedly eat whatever I feel like. Hopefully I'll lose the weight quickly. But that isn't my main focus at the moment. The whole baby thing is pretty much center stage.
My boy's room is ready for him. My husband put in an air conditioning unit last week which is a huge bonus. It gets pretty hot in this apartment. We have blue and brown colors for the nursery; same colors as our wedding. Mom and dad gave us a crib and matching dressor made from a beautiful dark wood from Bellini. Love it. My mom also made him a gorgeous hanging quilt with an ocean theme and a pretty cool needlepoint of sea life. We have one of those Boppy pillows that everyone told me to get. Looks kinda funky, but it supposed to help with breastfeeding. Anything that would help with that I am game for. I am still unsure about the whole process. I really want to breastfeed and I am looking forward to it; but it seems so foreign to me at the moment. A place of sustenance is the last thing my breasts have been previously.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everything goes well. No way out now!
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